06 Jul 2021 -
Pouring into a data stream of refined creativity.
Kahn - You Are Not A Concept
You are not a concept, you are a perspective, and that changes when how you relate to the one you're perceiving changes.
And you change how you relate to the one you're perceiving-
by just stopping-
any which way-
you are trying to change them.
Even when insisting you're changing them for the better.
Stop. Forget the one you're trying to change.
And simply taste-
the changeless serenity-
of your own eternal nature.
If your mind is noisy, let it be.
If your heart is congested with emotional turmoil. let it be.
If your ego or the unprocessed pain and fear within you is scrambling
for something to do, remember, or control,
let it be.
net.art"It's nice to think of artists as hackers who endeavour to get inside cultural systems and make them do things they were never intended to do: artists as culture hackers."
Artists Way Week 2
Julia Cameron"To know what you prefer instead of humbly saying Amen to what the world tells you you ought to prefer, is to have kept your soul alive." - Robert Louis Stevenson
"Every time you don't follow your inner guidance, you feel a loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual deadness."
Trusting our creativity is new behavior for many of us..We may feel and look erratic..Going sane feels just like going crazy.
Common self attacks: ..I probably did [morning pages wrong]..need to plan something big do it right away
I'll never recover, not right away, not ever
We can neutralize [self-doubt think] once we recognize them as a creative virus.
Affirmations antidote for self-hate, appears as self-doubt.
Common form of self-sabotage is showing someone else morning pages.
Your artist, like a small child, is happiest when feeling a sense of security..
we must act as parent to place our artist with safe companions..
most poisonous for recovering creatives are people whose creativity is blocked
Our recovery threatens them
When blocked, arrogance and self-will to speak of ourselves as creative artists.
Truth is it was self-will to refuse to acknowledge our creativity.
We could wonder amd worry about arrogance instead of being humble enough to ask help to move through our fear.
We could fantasize about art instead of doing the work.
By not asking for Creator's help with our creativity, not seeing his hand in it, we could righteously ignore our creativity and never have to take the risks of fulfilling it.
Blocked friends maybe still indulging in these comforting self-delusions.
Perhaps high from martyrdom of being blocked or collect sympathy and wallow in self pity..
think how much more creative they could be then those out there doing it.
These are now toxic behaviors for you.
Blocked friends may find your recovery disturbing.
Unsettling possibility that they too could become unblocked..
Be alert to subtle sabotage from friends. .. you cannot afford their well-meaning doubt right now.
Their doubts will reactivate your own.
Be particularly alert to any suggestion that you have become selfish or different.
(red-alert words, leverage back into old ways for someone else's comfort, not your own)
Blocked creatives..easily manipulated by guilt..feeling abandoned by our departure of being blocked.. unconsciously guilt-trip us into giving up new healthy habits..important to understand that time for morning pages is between you and God.
You will be led to new sources of support as you support yourself..
Be very careful to safeguard your newly recovering artist..
we feel we should do something else instead..our responsibilities to others..
believe such behavior makes us good people. It doesn't. It makes us frustrated people.
The essential element in nurturing our creativity lies in nurturing ourselves.
Through self-nurturance we nurture our inner connection to the Great Creator.
Repeat: the Great Creator has gifted us with creativity. Our gift back is our use of it. Do not let friends squander your time. Be gentle but firm.
Be an example through your own recovery.
Do not let their fears and second throughts derail you.
Soon techniques learned will enable to teach others..soon
you will be a bridge that will allow others to cross over from self-doubt into self-expression.
Protect your artist by refusing to show morning pages to interested bystanders or share artist date with friends.
Draw a sacred circle around your recovery.
Give yourself the gift of faith.
Trust that you are on the right track.
You will learn that it is actually easier to write and not write..and so forth.
You will learn that it is easier to enjoy the process of being a creative channel and to surrender your need to control the result.
You will discover the joy of practicing your creativity.
The process, not the product, will become your focus.
Your own healing is the greatest message of hope to others.
avoid.. Crazymakers are personalities that create storm centers, charismatic, frequently charming, highly inventive, powerfully persuasive..like drama..the star..feeding on life energies of those around.. Crazymaking King..The crazymaking dynamic is grounded in power, and so any group of people can function as an energy system to be exploited and drained..
(Note that I disagree with the author that the immature personality it describes is a constant and does not grow out of this infancy)
[Negative] Crazymakers break deals and expect special treatment..discount your reality.. spend your time and money..triangulate those they deal with..expert blamers..create dramas..hate schedules..hate order..deny that they are crazymakers.
We fear if we let ourselves be creative, we will become crazymakers ourselves and abuse those around us.
The secret doubt..deeply held skepticism..[if we do not] air them, they can sabotage us. Instead of stuffing feelings, we need to explore them instead.
The reason we think it's weird to imagine an unseen helping hand is that we still doubt that it's okay for us to be creative.Worth noting in a creative recovery is our reluctance to take seriously the possibility that the universe just might be cooperating with our new and expanded plans.
We've gotten brave enough to try recovery, but we don't want the universe to really pay attention.
We still feel too much like frauds to handle some success.
Any little bit of experimenting in self-nurturance is very frightening for most of us.
When our little experiment provokes the universe to open doors, we shy away, "Hey! You! Whatever you are! Not so fast!"
[I imagine]..a door, outside..dazzling light..new ideas that we consider too far-out for us, and so we keep them there.
We need new approach, set aside skepticism, when weird idea or coincidence happens, nudge door a little further open.
In creative recovery it is not necessary that we cahnge any of our beliefs. It is necessary that we examine them.
Creative recovery is an exercise in open-mindedness..begin this week to consciously practice opening your mind.
Pain taught me pay attention.. The poet William Meredith has observed that the worst that can be said of a man is that "he did not pay attention."
Rules of the Roadend artists way week 2
The Artists Way Week IShadow artists often choose shadow careers--those close to the desired art, even parallel to it, but not the art itself.
Shadow artists jude themselves harshly..[for]..not acting on their dreams..this cruelty reinforces [this] status..it takes nurturing to make an artist..
Shadow artists did not receive sufficient nurturing..still blame themselves for not acting fearlessly anyhow.
Many unable to make their way through the cultural maze..
..afraid to take themselves seriously..must nurture their artist child..Creativity is play..for shadow artists..learning to allow themselves to play is hard work.
Typically, The recovering shadow artist will use these early efforts to discourage continued exploration.
Judging your early artistic efforts is artist abuse.
abuse..measuring art against masterworks of other artists..exposes art to premature criticism..overly critical friends..behaves with art form of mastered masochism to attack with self-hate to beat himself back into the shadows.
necessary to go gently and slowly..healing old wounds..not creating new ones..mistakes are necessary..stumbles are normal.. progress, not perfection.. marathon training..ten slow miles for every one fast mile..embarassing process..won't look good to ourselves or others..stop demanding we do(look good)..
It is impossible to get better and look good at the same time.
..to recover as an artist..you must be willing to be a bad artist..give permission to be a beginner.. [if you are] willing to be a bad artist..you have a chance to - be - an artist.
Core Negative Beliefs:
When we are blocked [often] we feel safer that way. If I am fully creative what will it mean? What will happen..what could happen..rather than find out..we stay blocked..rarely a conscious decision.
I can't be a prolific, creative artist because:
Everyone will hate me
Will hurt friends + family
Will go crazy
Abandon friends + family
Not good enough ideas
Upset mom + dad
Will be alone
Will find out I'm gay
Will be struck straight
Will do bad work without knowing it look like a fool
Will feel too angry
Will never have real money
Will get self destructive
Will get sick
Will be abandoned by lover
Will feel bad from undeserving to be successful
Will only have one good piece of work in me
It's too late, haven't become artist yet, never will.
None of these need to be true. Confronting them. These are beliefs, not facts.
You are not dumb, crazy, egomaniacal, grandiose, silly because you falsely believe yourself to be.
Beliefs + Alternatives
drunk - sober
crazy - sane
broke - solvent
irresponsible - responsible
loners - user-friendly
promiscuous - faithful
doomed - saved
unhappy - happy
born, not made - discovered and recovered
Multiple negative beliefs reveal a central negative belief:
We must trade one good, beloved dream for another.
If being an artist seems too good to be true, I will devise a price tag that strikes me as unpayable.. and remain blocked.
Most blocked creatives carry unacknowledged either/or reasoning that stands between them and their work.
block doesn't want you to see [you can have both, happy + success / finance + artist / etc.], it's plan of attack, make you irrationally afraid of dire outcome you are too embarrased to mention, because it is a silly fear, you don't air it and a block stays intact.
This week we will excavate your unconscious beliefs by using some logic-brain / artist-brain learning tricks. These may strike you as hokey and unproductive, that is resistance . What follows is very effective weaponry.
Censors loath what sounds like self worth.
I, [name], am a brilliant and prolific [creator].
write this ten times.
While doing that, your Censor will start to object. Objections are your blurts..Listen to the objections. Look at the ugly, stumpy little blurts.. Write them down.
These blurts flag your personal negative core beliefs.
Paul's core negative belief was that he was only kiddin that he could write.
Whenever people complimented him on his work, he was deeply suspicious of them and their motives.
He had all but dropped friends once they had expressed interest in his talents; he had certainly stopped trusting them.
Turn now to your own list of blurts..each of them must be dissolved. Convert the blurt to an affirmation. Use your affirmations after your morning pages.
1. Write Affirmation Statement such as I, [name], am a brilliant and prolific [creator].
2. Write down the objections you hear.
3. Turn those objections into a list of core negative beliefs.
4. Create a counter list to the objections with new affirmations.
Big Magic IYou do not need a permission slip from the principal's office to live a creative life.
Or if you do worry that you need a permission slip---
THERE, I just gave it to you.
I just wrote it on the back of an old shopping list.
Consider yourself fully accredited.
Now go make something.
Paradox, It matters./It doesn't matter.
Build space in your head for this paradox
"My creative expression must be the most important thing in the world to me (if I am to live artistically), and it also must not matter to me at all (if I am to live sanely)"
'It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to'
What a wonderful life I've had. I only wish I'd realized it sooner.
Happiness Project IThat's me, I thought, there I am. I have.. a cell phone.. alarm clock.. apartment.. neighborhood.. This is my life..
I was suffering from a midlife malaise--a recurrent sense of discontent and almost feeling of disbelief. "Can this be me?" I'd wonder.
"Is this really it? Yep, this is it."
I had everything I could possibly want, yet I was failing to appreciate it. I too often failed to comprehend the splendor of what I had.
Colette: 'What a wonderful life I've had! I only wish I'd realized it sooner."
How could I set a higher standard for myself as a wife, a mother, a writer, a friend? How could I let go of everyday annoyances to keep a larger, more transcendent perspective?
The opposite of happiness is unhappiness, not depression.
More likely to make progress with..concrete, measurable actions..structured accountability + positive reinforcement.
Unconscious mind does crucial work in forming judgements, motives, and feelings outside our awareness or conscious control, and one factor that influences the work of the unconscious is the "accessibility of information", or the ease at which it comes to mind.
Info that is recalled often or used is easier to retrieve and therefore energized..
by reminding myself of certain goals and ideas, I could keep them more active in my mind.
[she identified "resolutions" she wanted to address, (relationships world perspective attitude work play passion energy money mindfulness), then found overarching principles around these emerge.]
Epicurus wrote, "We must exercise ourselves in the things which bring happiness, since, if that be present, we have everything, and, if that be absent, all our actions are directed towards attaining it."
Though I didn't realize this immediately--I started my happiness project because I wanted to prepare..for adversity--to develop the self-discipline and the mental habits to deal with a bad thing when it happened.
'BrainPickings'“When you’re trying to create a career as a writer, a little delusional thinking goes a long way.”
“If you write what you yourself sincerely think and feel and are interested in… you will interest other people.”
“The first sign of disintegration — in a writer — is that the writing loses the unique stamp of his/her character, & loses its inner light.”
“A writer loves the dark, loves it, but is always fumbling around in the light.”
“Man has always been half-monster, half-dreamer.”
“Art is long and life is short, and success is very far off.”
SirachHow the little is sufficient for a disciplined person.. - 34:17
Become skillful in all your deeds.. 34:22
Owning Your Own Shadow'Beauty (or worth) is in the eyes of the beholder'
Gold in the Shadow:
There are two shadows: 1 the dark side of the ego, which is carefully hidden from itself and which the ego will not acknowledge unless forced to by life's difficulties, and (2) that which has been repressed in us lest it interfere with our egocentricity and, however devilish it may seem, is basically connected to the Self.
In a showdown God (Self) favors the shadow over the ego, for the shadow, with all of its dangerousness, is closer to the center and more genuine.
People are as frightened of their capacity for nobility as of their darkest sides.
If you find the gold in someone who will resist it to the last ounce of his strength.
This is why we engage in hero-worship so often.
Our hero worshipping capacity is pure shadow, our finest qualities are refused and laid on another.
Todays hero is tomorrows character.
As the shadow is drawn up into consciousness, it becomes softer, more pliable, more gentle.
..neither ego nor shadow can be redeemed unless its twin is transformed..
rubbing together..this is nothing less than healing the split between heaven and hell.
'If we can learn to love the inner enemy, then there is a chance of loving - and redeeming - the outer one.'
"When we can face our inner heaven and our inner hell, this is the highest form of creativity."
To be in the presence of another's shadow and not reply is nothing short of genius. No one has the right to dump his shadow on you, and you have the right to self protection.
Most people have to work very hard to throw off their parent's shadow
If a parent lays his shadow on a young child, that splits the personality of the child
and sets the ego-shadow warfare into motion. When that child grows up, he will have a large shadow to cope with
and also have the tendency to put that shadow upon his own children.
'..Acts will have an equal weight on opposite side of scale... we can be aware of this dynamic and make a conscious gesture to compensate for it..'
The unconscious cannot tell the difference between a 'real' act and a symbolic one
[which means we can pay out that darkness in a symbolic way short story or active imagination mentioned, mentions another book he wrote, Inner Work: Using Dreams and Active Imagination for Personal Growth.]
'Had any terrible successes lately?'
There is a broader sense of creativity that folds the darkness into the finished product and finds fulfillment in the shadow. This is pure genius. Its attributes are wholeness, health, and holiness, and saintness in the original meaning of the word, a full embracing of humanity.
The more refined our conscious personality, the more shadow we have built up on the other side.
Jung's insight, the ego and shadow come from the same source and exactly balance each other.
To make light is to make shadow; one cannot exist without the other. To own one's shadow is to reach an holy place- an inner center--
Century of the SelfBernes made up his own title..field..idea..'public relations'
SirachThe wise in word will make himself beloved.
The heart of the stupid is in their mouth, but the mouth of the wise is in their heart.
And he put his eye upon their hearts
to show them the splendor of his works..
Poetry Foundation“Poetry redeems from decay the visitations of the divinity in man.” The poem is a genie that comes out of the bottle to liberate the reader’s imagination, the divinity within.
The writer and the reader make meaning together. The poet who calls on help from the heavenly muse also does so on behalf of the imaginative reader.
[W.S. Merwin, for example, remembers his teacher John Berryman giving him advice in the years just after the Second World War:]
Tara BrachWhen you see them in their inner beauty and goodness you transform and create.
What's standing between me and my own goodness?
Protecting my purity for years like the buddha statue covered in clay..
See how much they must be judging themselves, how sad..
AylaTry on different things, take on a different self
Take on another essence, or like an accent, pretend
Culture of dampening our light
Culture that says we arent supposed to be in a state of wonder at all times,
at the magnificence of whats going on around us
and to be in a state of wonder about our emotions
and about the parts of our planet that also need healing
doesn't want us to stay in a state of wonder,
there is power in our wonder
there is power in our innocent eyes looking up and being curious
there is power in wondering in awe at pain and destruction
when we approach these things that might be challenging, we approach with curiosity and wonder
it changes how we talk about it, how we understand it, how a creation will be about it
to put on a different lens that is very curious about life and looking at the details
and wanting to understand more about why things are the way it is and
how do things feel like and come up new words and plant these seeds that create flowers of detail and bring us into a new environment, a place we want to bring people.
We inspire change by touching on the awe of the thing we want to observe. When we exalt and praise what is necessary and essential for life, we bring others into our world, and we give them a pair of binoculars to look at the marvelous things that we're seeing,
How can you not want to protect the planet when you see how amazing it is?
How can you not want to protect a forest when it brings you into a feeling or makes..
Use detail to bring each other into a world a whole universe we are creating..
Creating more experiences in life and in your self where we are open.
Wrap our shame in a hug, wrap the whole experience in a hug, our energetic embrace, accept it, love ourselves with whatever's going on in there..
Dropping the resistance, loving myself just as I am for everything I'm feeling right now.
sing to the shame,
or ask it what its afraid of, what it needs.
In many traditions, it is no longer a gift if you record it, to where you were intending it..
so when you record it, it freezes it..
that's why a lot of the old spells were not recorded..
take a few deep breaths
feel into your energy field
you can tune into how close or far it is, right near your skin or very far away,
parts of it might be in the past or future
don't really have to even do anything, intend that your energy body comes to about 4 feet of you.
play with it, moving it out and in until you move it about 4-5ish feet from your body
and with your breath you're going to feel into your heart first, tune into the radiance of your heart,
like a lightbulb inside your heart
and you're going to feel that light fill through every cell in your body through all of your atoms,
expanding with your breath
might feel tingly, or soft
and just expand that light outside your skin, farther farther, until it is permeating that whole energy field around you.
And just take a few deep breaths charging it up, with more light, or love,
however it feels right to you
and you're going to just feel how that light and that love that is this vital energy
and you're just going to send beams of love into your cells, into your body, into your throat
into all the chakras, your organs, every cell, every single cell
sending all your love and gratitude
and then still feeling that energy radiating in you, you can start to beam, it might already be beaming
but feel the beam, feel the emanation that's coming from you,
light emitted from your being, so you're a beacon,
that love, that love, that vital force is a beacon
and you can keep that, keep that feeling, you can open your eyes but keep that feeling, awareness
and you can keep that kind of radiant emanation energy
and you can turn into actually how its impossible when we're emanating this much light and love, it's impossible
for anything that is not love, that is not benevolent, to enter our field, because we are emanating that,
it can't go opposite, it's too strong.
I've found that this is a helpful way of making my field strong, and having a boundary without it actually being a wall, rather it's a resonant field,
and anything that is not in resonance with my field cannot enter. it just wont. it cant. it's impossible.
For me, there's also techniques you can learn to create an energetic shield around yourself and those can be helpful too... but i've found it's actually more powerful for me to resonate and emanate into my field and nothing can enter that's not in alignment with that.
..So can help us remember that we're energetic beings, and actually creators, creators of reality, not just remembering how to create art, remembering how to be creators of our reality, every moment.
..Send a tone, an offering to the world from the radiance of your being,
so you're gonna let your beacon shine really strong right now through your voice, as a vibration,
in this vibrational reality and you're going to send it out.
Warrior...to be a pillar means we're going to be resonating with a frequency that's going to be beneficial to everyone around us.
'If I take the time to actually imagine the whole song or the whole orchestration around one part, and then I record my voice singing it, it encodes all of that into it, and also leads me into the next thing and things around it, the fullness, the potential around that song, and listening,
Imagining, "what would be the most amazing song to hear right now? " as if someone else wrote it.
Imitating, pretending you're an artist that you like.
'You're already trying on one personality, that's you, why not try on another and just see what happens?'
Sing the shape of the sound that wants to come through, not words.
Outline a shape with sound practice.
Keep a wordbank.
Use resonance, sound meditation.
Use shielding meditation.
Write what you see/hear/taste/feel/smell/sense.
Allowing something to come through and then broadcasting is the biggest prayer we could give to others who are afraid to.
That is a prayer for everyone to allow more of themselves to come through.
So give yourself that much permission.
Prayer for others is much bigger than the small fear of being heard for me
and part of the prayer is that they *do* hear you, they hear your imperfection.
"To be love, to be an embodiment of love on this planet.."
"We are love, so then we allow ourselves to be expressions of love every moment." "If you want to know how to open your creative channel, try being an embodiment of love every moment, there's nothing like that to open all the channels."
Reengage with old content for 5 mins.
Write things that describe what you're thinking about, instead of, "letting go", writing things that describe that..Instead of pain, things that describe that.
Sing to the stuckness itself.
Have non-limiting identification [What I do does not limit me].
If I'm not separate from existence, then what do I have to be afraid of?
Vessel of whatever form of creativity wants to come through,
its our job to catch, to always be ready to catch.
So instead of getting to Heaven, at last —
I’m going, all along.
Soak in the gift of space.
- Writing Practice 2: Do the practice above, but start with the phrase "I am..." Don't let the pen stop. Whenever you get caught in thinking, start the sentence over. Can also try "We are.." or "This is..."
- Writing Practice 3: Write for 2 minutes,
“what do I want so deeply, but also scares me to try?” OR
“What am I holding back from, because I’m afraid to _____(fail / succeed / be ridiculed...)?”
- Writing Practice 4: -
Now, feel into those voices from practice 3.
See if they’re trying to protect you,
or prove something... write for 2 minutes from their voices,
about why they’re in your head and how they’re trying to help you.
BreneCourage from latin cour: "to speak one's mind by telling all one's heart"
The courage to be imperfect..
The compassion to be kind to themselves first and then to others..
We can't show compassion to other people if we can't treat ourselves kindly.
They had connection as a result of authenticity..
They were willing to let go of who they thought they should be
in order to be who they were.
They fully embraced vulnerability
They believed that what made them vulnerable made them beautiful.
Occult"I have personal knowledge of more than twenty-five instances where the performance of [Enochian] magical operations based upon the Order's [i.e. Alpha et Omega's] formulae led to serious disintegrations of mind and body...
Perhaps the most conspicuous example of the use of these formulas is A.C. [Aleister Crowley] himself,
but there are plenty of others I have personally witnessed,
whose personal shipwrecks have been just as complete even though their smaller tonnage,
so to say, makes the loss seem less deplorable..."
"Mastering fear doesn't mean getting rid of the butterflies in your stomach. It means teaching them to fly in formation."
“I cannot remember the books I've read any more than the meals I have eaten; even so, they have made me.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
That's what alchemists do. They show that, when we strive to be better than we are,
everything around us becomes better, too.
It is we who nourish the Soul of the World,
Because when we love, we always strive to become better than we are.